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It's Not You, It's Me--The Happiness I Found When I was Finally Able To Say Those 5 Little Words

It’s not you, it’s me are the dreaded 5 words no one ever wants to hear. Whether you are being told them from your significant other, one of your friends or in my case and from a slightly different perspective, our business coach, it’s never something we want to deal with. When we started working with our business coach Julie, we thought we were going to work on our business foundations. Build our business to a point where we were both happy and loving everything we did. While that is the goal of both Julie and us, we had very different ideas of how we were getting there. My analytical brain was ready to dive into the back end of the business building. Setting up processes, geeking out over accounting and numbers, outlining our marketing plan and building the strong foundation we needed to thrive. Julie’s idea of building a business starts from a slightly different place and while all those things I listed above are hugely necessary to Julie as well, her main goal when she starts working with you is to figure out why you are doing this?

Why do you want to be in business? What is it you want to offer your clients? What is your vision? Why are you doing this? Seems easy enough to answer, right? Not for me. I literally could not come up with one answer that felt right to me. I could come up with things like “capturing memories” and “providing stunning, high quality artwork” which are still one of our top priorities; they just aren’t enough for a “why”. They are a byproduct of our why. I had to really dig deep inside (which I typically avoid at all costs) and figure out “why” I wanted this. While you might be thinking, why would you want to avoid figuring out your why? It’s because it meant I had to take a hard look at what my life had become.

On the surface I had a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, 4 happy, healthy, crazy kids, a beautiful home, but inside there was a lot of turmoil. I was unhappy with the direction my life was heading. I was unhappy with the person I had become and I was unhappy with how I was reacting to all of my unhappiness. I was angry and resentful and most importantly I was blaming others and outside factors for my unhappiness. This is where Julie came in.

Julie very gently, and sometimes not so gently, shined light on the subject that I was the only one responsible for my happiness. No matter how I tried to spin it and make others the reason for my unhappiness she reminded me that I was responsible for how I responded to people, how I allowed people to treat me, how I valued myself, and ultimately my happiness. I could spend my life waiting for people to change so I could finally be happy (which I never would have) or I could change my expectations and my focus and truly find my happiness. I still have a wonderful husband, 4 amazingly happy, healthy, crazy kids, and a beautiful home but now I have happiness as well.

This didn’t come easily or without work and I am still working on it. If I’m being totally honest, some days are much harder than others. Some days when my kids are fighting and bickering non-stop and all I want to do is curl up with my head under a blanket and stop adulting for the day, I really have to remind myself I am responsible for my happiness.

Now to get to my point of this very long-winded message. If you feel like you are just going through the motions of life and not living it to your fullest potential then change that. If you are unhappy in your life, make the necessary changes. If your confidence is lacking, it is time to take the steps to build that up. If you’ve spent much of your life waiting for others to make you happy (guilty as charged here) then change that too. You can do this. You can be happy and you can start with what you have available to you right now. No more waiting, no more excuses.

You are solely responsible for your happiness and we would love to be one part in your journey to get there. A boudoir experience can be life altering. It can build confidence that you had no idea you were lacking. It can give you the lift you had no idea you needed. It has the power to help you see yourself in a way you never knew you were missing. You are worth it. Yes it’s frightening and will likely have you stepping way outside of your comfort zone but all the best, most rewarding things happen when you step outside your comfort zone.

Schedule your call now and let’s talk about your happiness and how your boudoir session will add to your journey getting there.

Take care,


For those of you who are dying to know how I finally figured out my “why”, you can read about it here.

If you need a fabulous business coach/life coach I encourage you reach out to Julie Flippin of Small Business Savvy, she will change your life!

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