I’m tired. Like really, really tired. Physically and mentally exhausted and I feel like I am dropping the ball everywhere. Being a mom is no joke. Hell, being a woman is no joke. The demands that we put on ourselves are sometimes almost more than one person can handle. It is definitely more than I can handle at times. Add caring for four young kids, a couple of businesses (because sleep is so very overrated) and my journey for better self-care and that basically describes my life right now. It’s kind of a shit show. I have so many balls up in the air it’s only a matter of time before I start dropping them. Actually I did have to let one go last week and I’ve been super annoyed that I did. I have insanely high expectations of myself and I hate when I can’t get everything done on my never-ending list.
Some of you may have noticed that last week I didn’t write a blog. I just couldn’t. I sat down multiple times and nothing came. I guess that’s what write’s block is although a writer I am not. I simply put thoughts down on paper and hope they come out somewhat eloquently and intriguing enough for you all to read. However last week nothing even remotely eloquent came out. In fact, nothing at all came out. I have about 10 different blogs started with two or three sentences and none of them spoke to me. None of them brought enough passion for me to write about so I didn’t because I would rather not do it then not do it well. But I am annoyed about it and it really threw me off. So much that I’ve spent the better part of the past week trying to recoup from it and I did that by giving myself the week off from work. Well offish, I still made phone calls, answered emails and took care of some marketing but I did give myself my evenings to veg out in front the television and it was pretty awesome.
If you’ve read my previous blogs you will know I’ve been working really hard on my self-care. Occasionally putting my needs first and carving out a few minutes each day for something I enjoy but in all honestly, it’s kind of exhausting. Trying to make time to exercise, to read and drink a hot coffee is proving to be more work than I expected it to be and I am struggling with it. I’m tired because of it. I know that finding balance is the key but I am not there yet. But you know what? That is ok because I am learning to love my journey. Of course not every day is rainbows and unicorns but that is also ok. I am learning how to handle those days and not let them set me back too far. I keep saying the best thing happen when we get uncomfortable and out of our comfort zone, well I am 100% there right now. I am uncomfortable but you know what? Good things are coming from it. I am allowing myself time off. I am giving myself permission to work this business around my life and needs and I am learning to do all of that without any guilt. This is all pretty huge for me.
So why write about all of this? I want to be totally transparent in everything I do surrounding this journey. I am a mom, a wife, an entrepreneur and a woman and I can’t do it all perfectly all the time. I can’t even do it all imperfectly. I simply cannot do it all and that is ok if something’s gotta give. Letting go of our impossible expectations doesn’t make us failures; it actually makes us stronger as we are now able to recognize and set realistic, achievable goals. I am in no way saying give up on your dreams but maybe just give yourself a break once and awhile while achieving those dreams.
So if a boudoir shoot is a dream of yours, let's talk. If a boudoir shoot is part of your self-care plan, let’s talk. If you aren’t quite ready to get that uncomfortable, lets talk anyway. Sometimes starting the conversation is the push you need and I promise you only good things will come from getting out of your comfort zone.